Today I wake up to the news that 11 babies everyday are stillborn! Six others die in their first 28 days of life. So nothing has really changed in 100 years and certainly not in the past 6 years! So much for progress. We can make changes to the death rate in cancers and other diseases and illnesses but we cannot help the 17 babies that die each day, some never taking their first breaths! The fact is that given the millions of £s that is being spent on finding cures for these well known diseases, a small percentage is being spent on real research into what are the causes of stillbirth or neonatal deaths. Blame it on smoking and drinking and obesity sure. Then again neither my ex-wife smoked or drunk and neither of us were obese then, Yes she may look a bit tubby now but not six years ago!
This news on BBC today started me thinking about the past 6 years. It was not until after the events of that July that I started falling out of love with her. Until then we could take on the world together. It was as the following years passed that I started to see her for what she really was. The lies and deception could have been overlooked. The gossip that while I was out at work she was seeing someone. (yeah that was one explanation I was given for why our daughter died!) The fact that even after the heartbreak of a stillbirth and the trauma after that trying to rebuild our lives, and the joy of having another healthy baby a few years later. The thought that maybe after the heartbreak that the baby would help to heal some of the unseen scars. Then the ultimate nail in the coffin of our marriage when she had an abortion.
It was at the point I knew the marriage was dead and from that moment on she became uglier by the day to me. Now when we go to court I look at her sometimes and do not see anyone who resembles the person I married and once fell in love with. Truth is when I see her now I feel lucky I do not have to live with her anymore. There was a time last year when we spent the day together on the anniversary of our daughter's death where even in the sadness of the moment a little light shone on her and for a moment I thought to myself "that is the person I knew and loved!" Then on my eldest daughter's birthday I have a photo of her and see the ugliness of the liar.
It was at the point I knew the marriage was dead and from that moment on she became uglier by the day to me. Now when we go to court I look at her sometimes and do not see anyone who resembles the person I married and once fell in love with. Truth is when I see her now I feel lucky I do not have to live with her anymore. There was a time last year when we spent the day together on the anniversary of our daughter's death where even in the sadness of the moment a little light shone on her and for a moment I thought to myself "that is the person I knew and loved!" Then on my eldest daughter's birthday I have a photo of her and see the ugliness of the liar.
can I comment??? I WONDER!!
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